shiny happy me

So, I got an email this morning telling me that I’m being considered, at least in a preliminary way, for a job that I not only did not apply for, but would not have applied for—it is so far beyond what I consider my qualifications that I would have rejected a suggestion to apply for the position had it been made to me.

It is a Big, Important, Influential position in my field. It is not directly in my career path, but in a way that playing solo in Carnegie Hall isn’t directly in the career path of a middle-aged high school band teacher.

And, I was recommended for the position by someone who has known me very well for a very long time, and thinks that after just over a year of recovery, I am ready for the big time. She didn’t frame it in terms of recovery, because she isn’t an addict or in recovery—she believes in me and my ability now.

I haven’t responded to the email yet (because I haven’t spoken to my sponsor yet, for one thing), but it is a good feeling that not only does my friend think I’m ready to play Carnegie Hall, Carnegie Hall wants to hear me play—they like what they’ve heard about me.

The job would mean changing almost every external in my life, including a major geographic change. Also, a major lifestyle change, from sedentary rural obscurity to international travel in a high-profile, highly social position.

It’s fun to think about. It’s even nicer to be thought about as competent and capable—especially by the person I emailed to call the police to retrieve my dead body from my carport a little more than a year ago, just before I got into the car to end what was left of my life.

I don’t know what all I’m ready for in life. But I’m ready for today. I’m ready to be believed in, and ready to believe in myself.

The steps work.