The whole language of birthdays in recovery is just weird. Being reborn into anything, to my mind, is just creepy, and would do a disservice to the person who actually carried me around in her body and actually allowed me to come into the world (with what, from my understanding, was no small inconvenience to her and her own body). The 12 step programs I belong to have done a lot, but there are a few things in the world that I can only do once: I was born once, and I will die once. Confusing the matter with born-again verbiage is something I just don’t find helpful. As a newcomer, I found it offensive and culty.
After a meeting I attended last night, an old-timer asked me in the parking lot what my birthday was, and I asked what she meant, and she just tried to beat me down on the topic for some reason. I tried to be like “whatevs” but she was fairly insistent that I understand and subscribe to her point of view. It ended with us agreeing to disagree, sort of, but she was looking at me with this look of sympathy like I just don’t get it, and maybe one day I’ll have as many birthdays as she does. But I’m fine with one, really.
I experienced the remarkable change in my life that I think leads others to feel reborn, but unfortunately, no, we just get one shot at this life. Whatever part of life I spent drinking and drugging is still a part of my experience. I might get to make amends, do new and different things, and experience life differently, but my past is a part of me.
To me the statement “We shall not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it” is incompatible with the concept of rebirth (spiritual or otherwise).
Maybe that’s just me. And, maybe I’ll grow out of it? And, more likely, it just really doesn’t matter at all. Tomayto/Tomahto. &etc.